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Kissin Cousins by bedpan3 Kissin Cousins by bedpan3
Marie-Louise d'Orleans and King Carlos II of Spain, acrylic, ink on vellum 12x16"

King Carlos II of Spain was the last ruling member of the Hapsberg royal family. The Hapsbergs had a disturbing penchant for incestuous marriages with resultant childbearing among them - especially pairing uncles with nieces or first cousins with one another. Their need to keep the icky DNA of non-Hapsberg human beings out of their gene pool over several generations led to the creation of poor Carlos. He had been born from a niece/uncle pairing, and both of his parents had been born of other various pairings of family. This not only made family reunions confusing occasions, it also gave him more recessive genetic ailments than your average product of direct incest between father and daughter. His health problems included:

The "Hapsbug Jaw" ("Hapsburg Lip") - a condition that was associated with a large number of Hapsbergs over many generations. Mandibular Prognathism (excessive underbite) that grew more pronounced with age, and was not only unsightly but also caused problems with eating and speaking - not to mention drooling.

Probable Craniosynostosis, or fused fontanels during infancy, which causes mental retardation and an odd shaped head. Carlos, it was said, had a huge head, flat cheeks, a "deformed" nose and everted lower eyelids.

Developmental problems that caused him to be carried around by servants until he was 10. Also, Carlos wasn't encouraged to bathe because it might strain his frail health, and his poor hygiene did not go unnoticed by the rest of the court.

Genitals that were in such sad disarray that it was evident to an onlooker that Carlos' chance of producing an heir would be a difficult task. Also he was deemed a chronic premature ejaculator by two wives. So premature, it seems, that he couldn't even get it in first.

Carlos married Marie Louise D'Orleans at age 18, and fell madly in love with her. She was a bit less enthusiastic about the union, and lived about a decade in the court, depressed and over-eating, until she died suddenly after an acute bout with abdominal pain. Carlos, by this time rapidly going bald and described as "senile" (he was in his mid twenties, by the way) was distraught. As his mental state declined he had Marie Louise exhumed to look upon her rotting remains long after her burial (as well as several other dead relatives, because that's what a king does when he's bored). Carlos married again, but never got over her death.
Miskatonic-Jack Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2010
Great peice, very likely far more accurate than contemporary paintings of him. I say this considering the fact that, royals or not, portrait painters tended to flatter their subjects in a way that minimized their physical imperfections. As your painting suggests he probably lked more like Eric Stoltz's Rocky Dennis on a good day, and probably had an IQ no greater than 70.

Having seen portraits of his 2 wives, you can tell they were close relatives.

Did you write the description? Well researched and to the point!
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Submitted on
January 14, 2010
Image Size
1.1 MB


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